Last night, after visiting The Urban Grape for their summer wine stock up weekend (20% off cases of wine!), we spent the evening the way we spent many evenings last summer, on our deck, with James Taylor and a little wine until well past 10 pm. I didn’t care about blogging or packing or work, just me, my favorite guy, and a sunset that lasted almost until we went inside.
When we finally did go inside, I fell asleep instantly, not making to-do lists in my head like I normally do, or worrying that between an interview, work, and errands that I never found time to work out or buy groceries, or tossing and turning wondering if I had done enough that day. And I woke up, completely rested and happy at 5:30 to write this post, solely because I wanted to.
Every June my college roommates and I venture to one of my favorite places in the world, Provincetown, for a weekend of fun in the sun. Actually, it rains pretty much every single year, ends up freezing cold, and I never bring enough layers to keep warm, but it is still fun.
Raija either stays over on Friday or picks me up on Saturday. We are usually late to pick up Meghan who is usually waiting for us, packed and ready to start our vacation. Every year, we put on some music, get iced coffee, and turn on to 93, dealing with a little Cape traffic here and there, and finally making our way on to Route 6 and toward the Cape. As the edges of the road blend from hard asphalt to sandy dunes, the traffic lightens, and the air smells even more like the sea than it does at home, my grip on everything in life lessens a little. More than any massage or yoga practice, the journey releases tension in my neck, and as I start to lose service on my phone for the weekend, I feel more and more at home.
June’s Reverb prompt came this week at a perfect time.
What can you let yourself off the hook for?
The prompt was one of the reasons I couldn’t sleep. There was just too much.
I don’t like running. I love running the Boston Marathon, and I have a fun run scheduled with a friend in September, but I am happier walking, lifting weights, and having dance parties. But in my mind I still sometimes feel like I need to run because I once did.
I can work hard, all day and much of the night and constantly put myself out there until I have nothing left, but I still can’t control anyone but myself. The fact that many people have promised me lots of work and then backed out or never responded makes them either really busy or really rude.
I don’t need to blog twice a day, every day. My life is that interesting (to me), but I should be living it more and documenting it less.
The list could go on and on and on, but a key theme that goes through my life and many of our lives is enough. Being enough, doing enough, saving enough, planning enough, anticipating enough, being nice enough and patient enough . . .
So even if it is just for a couple of salty days in a cottage by the sea, I am letting myself off the hook from worrying about all of the enoughs.
And hopefully getting a little bit of a tan while I am at it 
What do you want to let yourself off the hook for?
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