It’s been a long season. Traveling to Texas, Delaware, Long Island, and of course, Brookline. And now, it’s tournament time, and I’m home with the 12yo. Priorities. What’s made it so hard is leaving the 20yo alone. I mean radio silence alone. No texts, no phone calls, nothing.
He’s playing in his first conference tournament and he doesn’t need his mother sending him little quips and quotes about “pick your head up”, or “have fun today”. (Yes, I was sending these daily). I made this decision on my own. Believe me, I don’t like it. Dare I say, I’m learning to let go.
We spend countless hours raising our children, watching their every move, thinking we can influence all of their decisions. When, in reality, we can’t. They make their decisions. He’ll take that pitch if he wants to. He’ll choose to steal second. (Please note, his coach gave him the “green light”). He’ll spend all of his travel money on the first meal because he knows we will give him more. (Of course his dad is at the tournament, they have a solid understanding of boundaries.)
Maybe it’s time I gave him the “green light”. To make decisions on his own. To fend for himself. He’s clearly been doing it without me all Freshman year of college. Why do we feel this insatiable need to always be telling our children what to do? I don’t play baseball, never have.
Sure I was 20yo once, and had a very good time making good and bad decisions. My mother didn’t check in with me unannounced via text, or worse yet, have Google Alerts on me. No, I had to call her on a landline phone, or write a letter! Times have changed. Parenting has changed.
Give your kids the gift of the “green light”. Put your phone down and let them reach out to you. They will always need you.
You need to find a way when you don’t always need them.