[source] According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, a spinster is, “an unmarried woman and especially one past the common age for marrying” and “a woman who seems unlikely to marry.” I was called a spinster the other day by a well-meaning older woman I work with. I was talking about my new apartment and when she found out I live alone at the old age of 31, she commented that “it was sad to see such a pretty girl be forced to become a spinster.” Yes, society has forced me and shunned me away! No one wants to marry MelissaNibbles! What will I do? How will I manage without a man to provide and care for me?
I laugh about the word “spinster” and society’s assumption that a single woman is a lonely woman. Sure, who hasn’t cried over the one that got away or been annoyed by a smug married friend’s constant updates on their eternal happiness? No one likes to be alone, but who says being alone means being miserable or lonely? Silly I say. Okay, so here’s my guide to being a spinster.
- Be supportive of other women. You need to stop judging your friends choices in boyfriends, food, wardrobe, etc… Be a good friend, good listener, and be happy for them when they find love. Be the rock in your circle of friends and you’ll never be lonely.
- Don’t let the haters get you down. You’re going to constantly be asked when you’re going to settle down and you might be asked every day. Get used to it. Resist the urge to lose your shit and go off them. You’re too good for that. Just smile politely and tell them you’re happy with your life as is. My favorite retort is, “I would settle down with one man, but I’m not ready to stop sleeping with all of them.” Shuts ‘em up right quick.
- Have a busy life. Don’t make a guyshaped hole in your life and stare at it longingly. Go out and do things! Hang out with your friends, take up a hobby or take a class, love your work, and don’t be afraid to do things ALONE. People struggle with this so much, but you know who cares if you go to a movie or out to dinner by yourself? ABSOLUTELY NO ONE! So don’t sit at home alone staring at the wall. Go do something!
- Be independent emotionally and financially. You should never expect anyone else to provide for you emotionally or financially. No one should ever “complete you”. How scary is that? Seriously, would you be attracted to a guy who stared into your eyes and said that he was nothing until he met you? Hell no! That’s a one way street to stalker crazytown and you’ll probably end up tied up in his basement if you tried to break up with him. Follow your dreams and don’t ever give up a goal just to be with a guy. As far as money goes, don’t take it from a guy. Trust me on this one. You don’t want to feel like there are strings attached to your relationship.
- Be honest. I’m not saying to be like me and have emotional Tourette’s, but have the courage to acknowledge your emotions and let people in on what you’re thinking. This means speaking up for yourself and not smoothing things over to make other people feel better. If someone fucks with you, tell them! People will respect you for it.
I guess you don’t have to be single to be a spinster either. These can apply to every woman right? If you are a spinster, be proud and don’t give it up for just anyone.
