Is it just me or does thisguy get less and less attractive each week? Am I really cheating on Chuck and Blair with this tool?
Anyway, Ben brings the galsdown to Panama City where they all shack up at the new Trump place.
Date Card 1 – Kacie B
The two lovebirds hop in ahelicopter and Ben brings Kacie to a private island owned by his vampire motherEsme.
What would you pack for amystery date on a “deserted” island with The Bachelor and a camera crew? Well, Kacie B. brought a stuffed animal and abag of candy. Is this girl eleven years old heading out for a sleepover? Shemust’ve been really surprised when Ben pulled a machete out of his bag. Umm…if this wasn’t a pre-taped realitytelevision show I’d think this poor southern belle was stuck on a desertedisland with a madman serial killer.
Date 2 – Rainforest Group Date
While Ben winds his bananaboat through the river, the girls pretend to be excited. You know they werereally hanging on for dear life, just wondering what kind of creatures lurked inthat muddy rainforest river.
They “come upon” a tribe inthe rainforest and all get outfitted in clothes that Panamanian rainforesttribe people appearing on Bachelor episodes wear.
Highlights: Bare-chestedCourtney scares the loin-clothed children, shakes her tatas and talks a lot abouttaking her clothes off. Meanwhile, therest of the ladies halfheartedly paint tribal tattoos on each other and dancelike the entire country isn’t watching them on national television.
Back at the cocktail hourportion of the date, Courtney offers to take her clothes off again, Emily makesa joke, Ben laughs, Emily & Courtney exchange words. But it’s all for nothing, Lindzi the horsewhisperer earns the early rose.
Date 3 – 2 on 1
Rachel, the blonde with thebangs, is kind of an emotional wreck and she’s definitely not into this salsadancing threesome. Blakeley is superexcited about this because her and the rest of the “VIP Cocktail waitresses”had a “salsa” routine that they used to do in Atlantic City on Sundays when the“VIP” restaurant she danced at had a prime rib special. I made that up. She is excited though.
The salsa dance date kind ofreminds me of the thousand dollars Brian and I threw out the window at theArthur Murray Dance Studio to learn how to dance for our wedding. There were lots of 1-2-3’s that we pretendedto understand but never really did – kind of like Rachel. Meanwhile, Blakeley danced like Cha-Cha fromGrease.
Clearly, Blakeley brought herscrapbooking supplies with her on the trip and made Benny boy a memorybook. Ben is scurred of the masterpieceand decides to choose Rachel instead. Hesends Blakeley back to the trailer park.
Hoodwinked
Finally, the drama we’ve beenwaiting for. What happens with CaseyS???? Well, I just watched it and I’m not even really sure. Her and her denim jumpsuit leave with Christhe host and he accuses her of hoodwinking the producers!!! She rambles a lot, some he said/she saidabout an ex-boyfriend. Chris doesn’t buy her story and makes her repeat her nonsensicalstory to Ben. Also, we find out that sheis a gross crier because Ben sends her packing, Lame, we all know that she justwanted her 15 minutes of fame.
Scary…
I refuse to address whatJamie did at the end of the episode. Luckily, we never have to see her do anything creepy like that again.
Next bikini stop: Belize